Questions

Questions.

 

November 4th; Election Day
An innocent email sent my way

Am I mistaken - did Erika die?

Questioning and inquiring
Many desiring
For the answer that brings truth.

Surely a lie, a rumor - how could I not know?

Interrogative and investigative
A phone call can explain it
Cancer strikes her youth.

Why did you think secrecy was the answer?

Shock and sadness
Sobs ripping from me in madness
Tears that sting and stain.

Why did you retreat and not allow us to help?

Despair and disbelief
Anger gnashes from my teeth
Betrayal like no other pain.

Did you want to spare our feelings...or yours?

Four years gone now
And we've moved on somehow

All we're left with is... Questions.

Week 3

Week 3 brought grains!  Some cereal and crackers - limited amounts, of course and very high fiber and whole grains (no bread yet).  I also got CHOCOLATE!  Granted, dark and not less than 70% cacao. 

Guess what?  I love the 85% dark cacao chocolate - it doesn't taste bitter at all!  I kept this week pretty much like last week - lots of grapefruit, stirfry, fish and vegetables! 

My energy is amazing as well as my mood.  For the first time this week I had a migraine.  A bit concerned, but it may have been my neck.

Pounds lost this week - 3 (12 total)  Some people have noticed
My bra cups have room and I'm about ready to move the straps in to the next hook.

Week 2

I started getting frustrated at the beginning of this week because I wasn't "feeling" the weight go off.  I had to keep reminding myself that this change that I've made wasn't about losing weight - it was about being healthier and feeling better...that the weight coming off was just a bonus.  Lots of mental stuff like that...

I was not really eating any new foods this week either, so I think that had something to do with my mental state.  I was able to add some fruit in - grapefruit, berries, melon.  I am not a huge melon or berry fan, so I went with the grapefruit. 

I tried a new recipe!  Who knew you could broil grapefruit?  I sprinkle cinnamon on the 1/2 grapefruit and broil for about 6 minutes.  OMG!  It is so good.  I even sprinkle cinnamon on grapefruit when I don't broil it!  It is wonderful.  Just think, I bet I put close to 1/8 cup of sugar on my grapefruit before this change.

I am really excited for Week 3 - there are lots of options coming up for adding back in pasta and bread (whole grain, mind you...) and chocolate!  (Dark - 70% cacao or higher) And I can't wait!!

This week I've noticed these things:

Down 2 pounds - total 9
I really can tell when my body needs water
My jeans are starting to bag and sag
I wore a pair of pants that I was planning to take back because they were too tight at Christmas!
I sleep really good - deep and uninterrupted
I can fall asleep really fast at night

Week 1

Week one brought fruit!  Well, kind of...because the only fruit I could have was one apple a day.  After not having anything sweet for three days, I found it amazing how sweet an apple could taste.

I started to get concerned about some things that I was experiencing...

Like, I was getting bored with eating the same or similar things - I could tell I was craving something different.  Different taste or textures - and I kept thinking that I wanted something sweet.  I was craving sweet.  And it scared me, because I didn't want to "cheat".  So I found stir-fry using olive oil.  This change is stretching my cooking abilities!

I had to travel towards the end of week 1.  I was concerned that I wasn't going to be able to control my choices and I really had to make peace with that.  I did have to eat some carbs (I tried to minimize the portion as politely as possible), but I did wake up with a headache the next day after consuming them.  Interesting?  Might gluten be a trigger on migraines for me?


Things noticed this week:

Pounds lost - 2 (7 total)
Many pairs of pants are getting baggy - including my jeans.

The 3-Day

My sister-in-law and niece did a sugar detox a while ago and they recommended to me "The Sugar Detox: Lose Weight, Feel Great and Look Years Younger" by Brooke Alpert RD and Patricia Farris MD.  This plan is for 31 days - still do-able and with an end in sight.  We'll see...

The first three days are truly detox days.  I was eating only vegetables (and a restricted list, at that) and protein (eggs, some nuts and lean meats). I could have one cup of coffee and other than that, I was drinking water. 

My first day my cravings were so intense I would take naps to escape them.  Seriously...  My biggest craving this day was potatoes.

Second day was better.  I found I love cabbage mixed with lettuce and dry roasted sunflower seeds.  Awesome texture and flavor!  With just a little bit of basalmic vinegar - it's a really good salad.  My biggest craving this day - chocolate.

Third day felt like the first.  Intense cravings and I was really crabby.  I woke up with a migraine.  I kept at it.  New love?  Sliced red peppers in hummus.  Seriously amazing.  My cravings were all over the place today.

In addition to finding new things I love to eat now (I just hope I don't grow tired of them...), I have noticed these changes:

I pee a lot.
I'm already down 5 pounds.
My wedding ring goes on better. (Although, it might be the cold.)
My skin is starting to look better.  Especially my legs.  Subtle, but noticeable.

I survived what the book said to be the hardest.  On to week 1!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          ,                                                                                                                                                                                                 

New Year, New Me

I am not one to make New Year's resolutions.  I don't know why.  Maybe because I'm lazy?  If I'm going resolve anything, I usually wait until Lent to give up something and/or add something to make me a better person.

This year was different. 

Over the last year I have noticed I've been gaining weight.  Not that I was thin or svelte, but I've been noticing little things - my wedding ring was tighter and had a harder time going on, I went up two cup sizes in my bra - something that hadn't occurred in over 10 years and my pants started getting tighter around my thighs.  I haven't stepped on a scale (unless I have to for a doctor) in over five years because I never thought I had the need.  I wasn't excited with the way I looked, but my clothes size and appearance really hadn't changed much in 12 years, so I didn't think anything about it.  Until about the last two months...

And I stepped on the scale.

I had gained about 15 pounds. Ugh.  I was as heavy as I was at my top weight when I was pregnant with Annie - 14 years ago. 

So, for the last two months, I have been soul-searching about what to do about this weight.  I've done Weight Watchers before and with some success - but the thought of weighing, measuring and counting really did not appeal to me this time.  I also had done a prescription of Phenteromine, which worked really well, but insurance would not pay for it.  I really did not want to spend a lot of money "dieting" because I knew once I had hit my goal weight, I'd go back to my same eating habits. 

And then it hit me...

I needed to look at my eating habits.  And they were Bad, Bad, Bad...

Suffice it to say that I was probably consuming 5000 calories per day - at a minimum.  And I say that I think - because I'm a mindless eater.  If I want it, I eat it.  If I'm emotional, I eat.  If I'm bored, I eat.  Also, I had switched from diet pop to regular pop this year because I was sick earlier in the year and it ruined my taste for diet pop.  I bet - although I didn't track, I drank at least 2100 - 2500 calories per DAY of regular soda. Then I ate whatever I wanted on top of those calories.

So, I started thinking that I should start with caffeine - and eliminate that from my diet.  This would eliminate the pop drinking...maybe. Because what would stop me from decaf?  Or non-caffeinated pop?  Then December came and I was more conscious of what I was putting in my mouth and I realized that my problem was sugar and carbs. 

I was out on Pinterest and saw a 21 day sugar detox plan.  I thought that was perfect (it takes 21 days to form a habit) and I could do anything for 21 days - it had an end in sight.  Which, unlike a diet has no ending because you don't know when the last pound will come off - and truly if I was going to diet - for all the weight I needed to lose, I'm talking months to years.  Days I can handle.

I would start on January 2nd to give me a few days of no sugar before I started back to school.  No one needs a grumpy teacher on the first day back from break!

My blog will be my "No Sugar Journey" for awhile to track how I'm doing breaking my addiction to sugar.

Stay tuned...

Dear Retailers

Dear Retailers,

I consider myself to be a pretty smart person.  Heck, even the University of Iowa bestowed an MBA degree on me a few years back, so I feel fairly confident that I kinda understand the predicament you folks are in every year.  Adding to this, my husband has owned a small business for the last 20 years and I have seen lean and plentiful years - and I feel your pain since 2008 with the economy downturn.  He/we are still recovering.

So what I'm going to ask you to do may seem counterintuitive, but I'm going to ask you anyway.

Please stop.

Oh, don't get me wrong - I love to shop and I love to Black Friday shop.  ON FRI-DAY.  But I'm proud to say that the earliest I've ever been out is 5:00 am.  I love Black Friday only because it is the one day a year I get to spend the entire day with my best friend, Lisa.  But we'd spend it together if you opened at 8:00 or 9:00 or 10:00 am. 

Please give us back our holidays.

You have to stop eke-ing into our holidays. Sundays haven't been sacred for years. None of the Federal holidays are safe anymore, Easter is almost non-existent, and now you're taking away Thanksgiving. Some of you are already taking over Christmas.  We don't know how to have family time anymore. We don't know how to rest. Stop blaming technology. It's the almighty dollar and consumerism. You can do this. We need more leaders in our society. 

Your employees should have that same option.  I know, I've worked retail before - so don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about.  It's not much of a holiday when you have to rest before a 12 hour shift that starts at midnight or 2 am.  Give these people back their family time, because I believe that is one thing that contributes to our overscheduled, crazy society.  Do it for our kids.  Please.

There is nothing (except hospitals and a few emergency services) that I can think of that needs to be 24/7.  We have the internet.  We're good.

Thank you. And Happy Thanksgiving!