The New Normal

I've been here too long...I'm getting antsy. 

I keep thinking that I can't wait to get back home and have things get back to normal.  And then I pause...

Because normal isn't normal anymore.  We have the New Normal.

I had to leave Mom's house today for awhile to travel to another visitation in New Hampton.  A church friend of mine passed away from cancer the same day Dad did (death comes in threes, people).  And when I got home, I looked at the chair in the living room that Dad sits in and I wondered for a millisecond where he was.  I chuckled and wondered to myself how long I'm going to do that?

Or what my reaction will be when Mom will walk in the door at my house in Waukee and I will look for Dad?

Or the first time I talk on the phone with Mom after I'm back home and will absent-mindedly say, "make sure you tell Dad 'hi' from us" like I always have done and then will feel bad that I made that slip up.

I wonder what card I will buy for him for Father's Day before I realize I can't send it?

Or the birthday gift that I will think that he absolutely has to have and then realize he's not there to receive it.

I wonder if I'll be able to listen to Christmas music anymore from my childhood that Dad likes or cry while we open presents because he's not there to meticulously open them - one piece of tape at a time.

The New Normal will suck for awhile...until it becomes...normal.